Cute Hoor Irish Pale Ale is an ale brewed and distributed by Heineken Ireland. Here we have another “craft” beer on the market that is in fact a beer made by a massive international drinks consortium trying to cash in on the ever growing craft beer market. The eponymous lager produced by Heineken is to fine craft beer as a Big Mac is to fine dining.
However, that’s not the fault of the beer that it’s made by Heineken, so I won’t ramble on any more about the evils of globalisation and the crushing rigidity and conformity of the marketing machine that drives everything toward the safest, banal, middle ground in an effort to maximise shareholder value by pedalling as much mass appeal product as possible.
The beer itself is a pleasant enough drink. It’s well balanced between hops and malt, with the hops slightly coming out on top. You can definitely taste a roast flavour off it, it would work well with a Sunday lunch. Its light enough that you could work your way through a few pints without that bloated feeling you get sometimes from heavy beer.
The colour is a dark golden colour with a pale head which doesn’t disappear.
The bottle is reasonably well presented. A “cute hoor” is an expression used in Ireland to describe a sneaky person who is out for personal gain while maintaining an innocent face to the public. Many politicians fall into this category. The sort of chap who says for example they are going to get strong on guns but at the same time are the head of a party that receives massive donations from the National Rifle Association. Sorry, I’ve come over all political in this blog post.
Anyway, back to the beer. As I mentioned above it is pleasant enough, but it’s not anything to write home about. It’s the sort of thing that you would be happy enough to drink if someone handed you a bottle of it for free, the sort of thing you might be glad to find at the back of the fridge when you discover you’re out of beer you actually like.
Ed Rating: 5/10
A beer that is trying to appeal to craft beer enthusiasts but fails because it doesn’t offer up any particularly strong or appealing flavours. This is not an adventurous beer, it’s built to appeal to Heineken drinkers who might be craft curious. If you’re a fan of bold flavours you’ll be disappointed. It’s not unpleasant but it is very middle of the road.